What Brits say and what we mean, reprise

I was amused to see in the Telegraph here an article by Alice Philipson about how the "Translation Table " which sets out the difference between what British people say, what we mean, and what non-Brits may think they hear, has apparently become an internet hit, appearing in a large number of blogs and online articles.

Ms Philipson has not been able to track down the author of the table. I know that it is at least nine years old. I remember first seeing a table very similar to this in about 2004, which appeared in the Economist at that time, and that my then boss had a printout of the table above her desk.

(I was working in BT Global Services at the time and both of us often had to deal with people from other countries, so not being misunderstood by non Brits was rather important.)

Don't know whether this blog was one of the "number of blogs" Alice Philipson was talking about - I published a version in July 2012 - but anyway here is my table again with one or two phrases added (including one which Jim King suggested what I first published it.)

What the Brits say	What we mean	What others think they hear
I hear what you say	I disagree and do not wish to discuss it further	He is listening to me
With the greatest respect	You’re being an idiot	She respects my position
That’s not bad	That’s good	That’s a bit disappointing
That is a very brave position	That is insane	He respects my courage
That is an original point of view	That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard	She likes my creative style of thinking
QUITE good (stress on the “quite”)	A bit disappointing	(US)  Very good (Other) Fairly good
Quite GOOD (stress on the “good”)	Excellent	(US)  Very good (Other) Fairly good
I would suggest  ...	Do this or be prepared to justify yourself	Think about the idea but it’s your decision
Oh incidentally/by the way	The main purpose of this conversation is ...	This is not very important
Please correct me if I’m wrong	Contradict me at your peril	Tell me what you think
I was a bit disappointed that	I am furious that ...	This is a minor concern
I’m sure it’s my fault that	It’s your fault	He doesn’t blame me
Very interesting	What ridiculous nonsense	She is impressed
I’ll  bear it in mind	I will do nothing about it	He might do this
Possibly through no fault of your own ...	You are in very serious trouble indeed ...	She hasn’t decided who is to blame
This is in no sense a rebuke	I am very cross with you	I am not cross with you
I apologise if I failed to make it clear that ..	You ignored my explicit instructions and it had better not happen again	He is accepting responsibility for the problem
This may interest you	Read this now, mark, learn and inwardly digest it	She thinks I might like to take a look if I have a spare moment
You must come to dinner	I am merely being polite	I will get an invitation
I almost agree	I don’t agree at all	We are close to agreement
I only have a few minor comments	You will need to do a complete rewrite	He has found a few typos
Please think about that some more	Anything from “You haven’t got that quite right” to “That’s crazy, drop the idea!”	She likes the idea and wants me to develop it further
That is a somewhat wild interpretation of what I wrote, but quite perceptive	The worst case could be very much as you suggest, but don’t you dare quote me!	He thinks this was wild and inflammatory
You’ll get there eventually	My God, you’re slow	She thinks I’m making progress
If you find time, could you please ...	Do this by the end of the day or else	He thinks this would be nice to have but it’s not a priority
Could we consider some other options	I don’t like this proposal	She has not yet decided what to do